Staying positive amidst criticism is an important life skill.
It has been in my habit for quite long time, to paste in my diary those paper cuttings of newspapers or magazines which bear some interesting lessons of life in the form of short story , poem or commentary.
Today while flipping through one such diary, I got stumbled at a page where I found a reference of a piece of conversation which took place between Swami Vivekananda and his Guru Ramkrishna Paramhansa.
Vivekananda: “Why life today has become complex?”
Paramhansa: “Stop analysing life. This is making it complex. Just live it.”
This infused in me an air of thought – why do we always keep sieving for any possible fault on our part, which may not have resulted deliberately? Why do we care so religiously about what others will say or what if people disapprove my certain step or action? This continuous introspection almost questioned me, “why shouldn’t we develop ourselves in to a thick skinned person rather than allowing us to remain thin skinned one?”
Who Is Thin Skinned?
A thin skinned person can’t deal with the thought of being target of criticism. He runs around trying to convince every one what he really meant. He looses his cool in his pursuit to have every one think of him in good light. But this is not possible all the time. This is detrimental to anyone’s progress in life and is considered a negative character trait.
Such persons are touchy, sensitive and tender hearted.
Who Is Thick Skinned?
If we say that someone is thick skinned, then it means that such person doesn’t get easily upset by by criticism or unpleasantness. Such persons are mentally tough and unsusceptible. They shield (or have learnt to shield) themselves against any onslaught of criticism, offensive gestures or ill behaviour towards them. Their ability to move towards their goal is not numbed by any criticism or mud slinging at them. They hear their criticism and simply brush it off. Mental toughness of thick skinned people is very high, which makes them firm on their path of success and living.
The basic tenet is to build an attitude in a person that doesn’t allow every little criticism affect them. Though some persons have inborn trait of mental toughness , others have to develop it over time.
Need To Reorient Our Thought Process.
We can reorient our thought process to build a thick skin attitude by cautioning ourselves against, and training ourselves for the followings:
- “Worrying about things beyond our control is pretty good formula for illness.” So we should get rid of this habit as soon as possible.
- Don’t take criticism or rejection personally. Actually every criticism or rejection is an opportunity to learn from. Ratan Tata said it beautifully, ” Take the stones people throw at you and use them to build a monument.”
- Every misstep brings you closer to the perfect step. And if people don’t understand this about you, why let them bring you down.
- Learn to be patient. Don’t be impulsive or react to a situation without giving yourself time to cool off.
- Feel yourself important if critics criticize you. That means you matter for them somehow. You have to learn by falling, and lead by trying.
- Never feel like satisfying everyone is essential. Shed this burden immediately. Hear the voice of your hopes, desires, and dreams.
- Engaging yourself every moment in preventing you from doing mistake is not right mindset. This will disconnect your life from adventure of new journey.
Finally..
Albert Einstein, once wrote,” Great spirits have always encountered opposition from mediocre minds. Just do your work as humanly you can do it. The rest will take care of itself.”